To Live With Dying

Lasting Legacies was the subject of the 2018 Suffolk Annual Public Health Report. It recommends that talking about end of life and death should not be taboo. It is vital that residents across Suffolk and north east Essex feel comfortable talking about their wishes, requests, beliefs and plans, with professionals, and their families and friends.

The report encourages residents and organisations to talk about how we can age with self-respect, die with grace and leave the legacy we want behind. By putting plans in place earlier and thinking about what matters to us and our family, it may be possible to die ‘well’, and in the place of our choosing.

View and download the report:

• suffolkobservatory.info – Lasting Legacies – Conversations about end of life in Suffolk

Dying Matters is a coalition of individual and organisational members across England and Wales. Their website has practical guidance, information and resources on how to say goodbye, the importance of good listening skills, what the dying may experience as death approaches, and guidance on ways to offer spiritual support:

• dyingmatters.org – Talking about death and dying

Dying Matters has leaflets to download/print entitled: Things to do before you die, Supporting bereavement, Let’s talk about dying, Talking about dying with people affected by dementia and Talking about dying with children:

• dyingmatters.org – Updated resources

You can listen to people who have learnt through personal experience how important it is to talk about our wishes before it’s too late in episodes of The Dying Matters Podcast produced by Dying Matters and Hospice UK:

• hospice.org – The Dying Matters Podcast “Let’s talk about it.” Death and dying is one of those topics that’s just hard to talk about

Every year in May, Dying Matters hosts Dying Matters Awareness Week. It is an opportunity to place the importance of talking about dying, death and bereavement firmly on the national agenda: 

• dyingmatters.org – Awareness Week

Age UK, together with the Malnutrition Task Force, produced a short film and downloadable booklet to encourage us all to feel more confident about having difficult conversations about death and dying:

• ageuk.org.uk – Let’s talk about death and dying

A new Compassionate Communities website was launched as part of a local project at The Peninsula Practice (Alderton, Aldeburgh, Orford and the surrounding areas). Compassionate Companions support living life fully before we die, providing companions for people and families affected by life-limiting illness, and starting conversations about end of life.

Dr Lindsey Crockett, senior partner at the Peninsula Practice said:

“The intention of Compassionate Communities is to empower our local community so that, through kindness and compassion, we can give people at the end of their life, and their families the support they need.

“Death is a part of life and something that no-one can prevent. Yet, conversations about death can be difficult. For the dying person it can leave them frustrated that they are leaving things undone and for the family members left behind it can create stress and accentuate the feelings of grief.

“But by talking early, openly and honestly, hopefully a good death can be achieved.”

The website includes advice on how to make it easier to have difficult conversations about death and dying, so that people are better informed and able to make the right choices and decisions. There are suggestions on how to start a conversation and what topics to cover, with plenty of resources to help someone set out their wishes:

• Learn more about Compassionate Companions: compassionate-communities.co.uk

Learn more about Compassionate Communities in your area

• Compassionate Communities in north east Essex
• Compassionate Communities in east Suffolk
• Compassionate Communities in west Suffolk

Marie Curie provides information on how to start the conversation and what you could talk about. You can also purchase or download playing cards which are designed to help you have meaningful conversations about life and death with family and friends:

• mariecurie.org.uk – Talking to a loved one about their future plans
• mariecurie.org.uk – Help us break the taboo around death
• mariecurie.org.uk – How does talking about the end of our lives help us?
• mariecurie.org.uk – Play cards and spark a meaningful conversation

The charity, Independent Age want to help you start the conversation about death by providing advice, information and stories:

• independentage.org – We need to talk about death

Discussion groups, often known as Death Cafes, take place where people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death. Rather than a grief support or counselling session, the objective is to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their lives.

Use the Death Café website to find an upcoming death café event in your local area.